AGAR DIL BOL SAKTA…(Article)
By Aneeqa Shoaib.
Agar dil bol sakta…
to shayad sab se pehle woh shikayat karta.
na duniya se.
na logon se.
balkay apne hi malik se…
Woh kehta……
tum mujhe itna gehra kyun banaya
jab is duniya ke haath itne sakht thay.
tum ne mujhe mehsoos karna kyun sikhaya.
jab har ehsaas ka anjaam sirf dard tha.
Agar dil bol sakta…..
to woh har us raat ka zikar karta
jab aankhein band theen.
magar yaadein jagti rehti theen.
jab muskurahat chehre par thi
lekin seene ke andar kuch toot raha hota tha..
Woh batata…
ke kaise har din khud ko samjha samjha kar zinda rakha.
kaise har baar yeh keh kar chup ho gaya.
koi baat nahi main theek hoon.
Dil kehta…..
main theek nahi tha.
main bas bol nahi pa raha tha.
Agar dil bol sakta…..
to woh un logon ka naam leta
jinhein apna samajh kar
har deewar gira di.
har raaz khol diya
aur phir unhi ke haathon
sab se gehra zakhm khaya.
Woh kehta….
maine bharosa kiya tha…
maine bina shart ke apnaya tha…
maine yeh nahi dekha tha.
ke kaun mere qabil hai.
aur kaun sirf meri zarurat ka.
Dil poochta..
kya ghalti meri thi..
ya is duniya ka dastoor hi aisa hai.
ke jo jitna saaf hota hai.
utna hi zyada toda jata hai.
Agar dil bol sakta….
to woh batata
ke chup rehna hamesha sabr nahi hota.
kabhi kabhi chup rehna
sirf is liye hota hai
kyun ke bol kar bhi koi sunta nahi.
Woh kehta….
main cheekhna chahta tha.
main rona chahta tha.
main kehna chahta tha.
ke bas ab aur nahi.
lekin hont muskurate rahe.
aur main andar hi andar.
khud ko dafan karta raha.
Agar dil bol sakta….
to woh sab rishtey yaad dilata.
jo naam ke thay.
ehsaas ke nahi.
jo saath ke vaaday karte rahe.
magar mushkil ke waqt
sirf khamoshi de gaye.
Woh kehta….
main intezaar karta raha…
har din…
har raat…
ke shayad aaj koi pooch le..
tum theek ho.
magar har baar.
main khud hi khud ko jawab deta raha.
haan main theek hoon.
Agar dil bol sakta….
to woh yeh bhi maanta
ke usne khud par bhi zulm kiya
har baar jab kisi ko khush rakhne ke liye….
apni khushi qurban ki
har baar jab kisi ke rehne ke liye
apni izzat se samjhauta kiya.
Woh kehta…..
maine khud ko bohot sasta kar diya
sirf is liye
ke koi mujhe chhor kar na chala jaye.
lekin phir bhi
log chale gaye…
Agar dil bol sakta……
to woh batata
ke sab se zyada dard tab hota hai
jab aap kisi ke liye sab kuch ho
aur aap khud kisi ke liye
sirf aik option ho…
Woh kehta…
maine khud ko un logon ke liye thaka diya
jo kabhi mere liye rukay hi nahi.
Agar dil bol sakta…
to woh raaton ka haal sunata
jab neend sirf jism ko aati thi
dil ko nahi.
jab yaadein takiye se zyada bhaari hoti theen…
aur khamoshi
sab se zyada shor karti thi..
Woh kehta…..
kisi ne nahi dekha
ke main roz thora thora mar raha tha…
kyun ke main roz hans rahi tha….
Agar dil bol sakta…..
to woh keh deta..
ke mazboot rehna
hamesha himmat nahi hoti
kabhi kabhi yeh majboori hoti hai
jab aap ke paas tootne ke liye
koi jagah hi na ho….
Agar dil bol sakta…..
to woh apne aap se yeh sawal karta
kya main itna bura hoon..
ke mujhe samjha hi nahi gaya…
ya phir main itna acha tha…
ke sab ne mujhe asaan samajh liya…
Woh kehta….
main thak gaya hoon..
har baar samajhne se….
har baar maaf karne se…
har baar khud ko peeche rakhne se…
Agar dil bol sakta…..
to woh yeh bhi maanta
ke dard sirf log nahi dete
umeedein bhi deti hain
woh umeedein
jo hum khud baandh lete hain…..
Woh kehta…
shayad mujhe itni umeed nahi rakhni chahiye thi…
shayad mujhe bhi thora beparwah hona chahiye tha…
lekin phir woh chup ho jata
kyun ke beparwah hona
uske bas mein tha hi nahi..
Agar dil bol sakta…..
to woh yeh bhi kehta…
ke sab se zyada dard..
us waqt hota hai
jab aap khud ko pehchanna chhor dete hain
sirf is liye
ke koi aur aapko chhor na de.
Woh kehta….
main kahin gum ho gaya hoon
tum mujhe dhoond lo….
Agar dil bol sakta…..
to woh aakhri baat yeh kehta
ke main kamzor nahi hoon….
main bas bohot zyada mehsoos karta hoon…
aur is duniya mein…
mehsoos karne walay log
aksar zinda reh kar bhi
andar se mar jate hain….
Agar dil bol sakta…..
to shayad aaj bhi woh sirf itna kehta..
main dard mein hoon.
magar mujhe aadat ho gayi hai
aur shayad.
sab se zyada dukh bhari baat yahi hai…
ke dil bol sakta bhi ho
to hum sunne ke liye
tayyar nahi hote…
The end…